It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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