he shaved USA in his pubs
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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