He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
