her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
