you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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