He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
