I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
