So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Do vagina's smell?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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