I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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