After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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