her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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