Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
