Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
