I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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