I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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