You work out of a Hotel?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
