anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
