I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
