Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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