You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
