Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
