distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
