his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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