I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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