Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
