walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
