I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
