4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
