sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
