I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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