About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
