My nipple is on Facebook.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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