it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
