The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
