i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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