he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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