So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
