Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
