Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
