I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
