my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
