Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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