Your tits are I can't wait for
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
