Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
