Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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