I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
