Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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