69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
