We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize