p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
