i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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