We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
