doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Randomize
